We're all stars now, in the real show

Being on reality TV makes you at least one of two things: more self-conscious and/or wonder how on earth you ever ended up on reality TV. Last September, I competed on BookTV's The Next Literary Superstar, a national contest I entered through encouragement from a good friend. I travelled to Edmonton, Alberta and lived inside a Chapters with 11 other final contestants where we were each faced with a feat: to write an entire novel in just three days.
The 12 of us constantly endured interruptions for interviews, challenges, penalties and prizes, and store shoppers. Which really ends up being a two-day affair when you think about it.
Anyway, lots of time has passed and this weekend (tomorrow), I'm heading back to tape the season finale. I've had a rough week dealing with work, stress, play rehearsals, and mentally preparing for this reunion.
It will be absolutely lovely to see the other writers again. We actually kept in touch in the last months, some of us even getting together for dinner.
This weekend is something we've all been looking forward to for a while.
Part of mentally preparing for this ordeal just reminded me of how it feels to be in front of a camera and acting like--yourself. I've performed quite a bit, but always "in character". Doing it as yourself is completely different. Probably because the cliched saying is true, "we are our own worst critics." So, when the opportunity allows us to "act like ourselves", we tense up even more than usual, in hopes of masking whatever it is we're embarrassed to show the world.
Off to bed-- tonight, dreamland. Tomorrow, "real world".